Minor Note: Tree isn't coming back, sorry; autism thing. Assign somebody else to get mad and have fun.
- WHAT WILL WE DO WITHOUT YOUR BLENDEDSOLOSIS?
- Oh it's right here, never mind!
Minor Note: ああああ私のディックを恐ろしい悪党を吸う!!! —- 何もないが、はい赤ん坊赤ん坊ああ一日中盗品!!
Magical Burst is a Pen-and-Paper system for greasy neckbeards to pretend to be little girls. Originally intended to be based off of Puella Magi Madoka Magica, it often found itself being used to play much more action-oriented interpretations of Magical Girl series instead. The official .pdf can be found here.
[12:54:49] <Tim> SHELTER BENEATH THE BICEPS OF TIM, O MAIDENS
[12:54:51] <Tim> FOR HE IS HERE
[01:00:28] <Tim> 'scuse me, ladies, someone told me you needed some manservice?
[01:00:44] * Tim steps forth gloriously bare-chested, kilt gusting in the breeze.
[01:01:35] * Tim puts on a shirt just so he can sexily remove it
[01:02:00] <Celeste> don't forget sunglasses~
[01:03:53] * Tim never forgets sunglasses, ladies~
[01:04:07] <Tim> Girl, I need shades to avoid being blinded by you.
[01:04:16] <Tim> Your radiance is like the summer sun
[01:04:29] <Tim> I am dumbstruck in the sexiest and manliest of ways
[01:05:20] <Celeste> Your smooth moves are so
[01:05:22] <Celeste> timpressive
[01:06:21] * Tim sweeps her off her feet and into his arms, where she belongs.
[01:07:52] <Celeste> oh yeah, there's only one problem though
[01:08:15] <Celeste> I'm a lesbian, sorry for no heads up
The Magical Girls looked up at Tree, their dewy eyes shining like new-casted figma dolls, soft sighs escaping from twin sets of parted lips, "Oh Tree-sama…" they whispered, their fingers interlacing in a sisterly gesture just suggestive enough to be genre-appropriate without giving Charm a stiffy, "Your bark is just so smooth." "Hai, hai, your branches are so big and thick…"
[00:06:24] <Valene> You'll never EVER know the feel of waking up with a girl in your arms that has another girl in her arms
[00:06:25] <Valene> EVER
[02:04:24] <Tim> If I made a Magical Girl, she'd be ridiculously straight
[02:04:34] <Tim> she'd smoke a cigar, too
[02:04:52] <Valene> Would she be buff
[02:05:08] <Tim> no, she'd be 4'11
[02:05:13] <Tim> and I don't mean "a slut", I mean "ridiculously straight"
[02:05:13] <Giantree> And 13?
[02:05:25] <Tim> No, 25
[12:56:20] <Terse> Blax and Tree looked at each other, the wind whistling through the trees the only sound as the two girls locked gazes.
[12:57:13] <Terse> "Tree-chan…you really are pretty." Blax turned to go, but Tree was too fast, and before the taller girl realized it her junior had her by the arms and was standing on tiptoe to press soft, dryad-green lips against her own, pink mouth.
[12:57:30] <Kal> Tim I will menace you and your family.
[12:57:35] <Kal> and you will deserve it
[12:58:15] <Terse> Kal-chan, meanwhile, sat in the bushes, stewing with both jealousy and voyeuristic glee, "Bueno~" She whispered, a hand sliding over the front of her plain blouse, "Muy bueno por favor~"
[14:00:21] <Tim> "Let me give you a nibble of advice. Don't even consider visiting Anor Londo. Not in your state. For a century they have tried, and failed. The Knight King Kain, Liquid Metal Shuku, and even Big Hat Anise herself. You won't stand a chance. You'll be eaten alive. But go along, if you wish. If only to deepen your despair!"
[23:33:56] <Tim> Put your trust in this overflowing heart of Tim
[23:34:01] <Tim> Put your faith…in justice.
[18:01:22] <Tim> TOUCH BY BICEPS AND BE SETTLED, GIRLS
[18:01:38] <Bigwood> who would be touch by biceps
[18:01:52] <Tim> TOUCH YOUR BICEPS TOGETHER
[18:01:54] <Tim> AND FLEX
[18:02:01] <Tim> THEN YOUR DISPUTE WILL BE SETTLED
[14:20:31] <Tim> Vampires
[14:20:36] <Tim> This is why lesbians had to punish them
[14:21:06] <Kraken> heterosexuals don't get to punish people?
[14:23:44] <Tim> No, we do, but in this case touhou's laws are enforced by lesbians
[14:25:00] <Tim> Now, according to pornography, the main lesbian punishers are Reimu, an indecent yet closeted shrine maiden who has tsundere love for a milf-Cthulhu woman that can summon portals full of eyes, and Marisa, who is a full-on pimpette and just has wizard girls throwing themselves at her bloomers like cruise missiles
[17:12:36] <&SADWOOD> teenage girls are the devil
[17:12:43] <Tim> They are
[17:13:03] <Tim> Giving them superpowers and hormones at the same time is like going "We have wizards, how do we make them more unstable?"
[16:07:38] <Tim> Tim's Log, 9/13/13: BRIGHT WAS THE AFTERNOON AND LONG WAS THE WORKING, YET AN UNDISCOVERED ORE LAY AT THE HEART OF THAT MOST DANGEROUS OF MINES…A TREE'S GENTLE HEART. FOR LO, UPON THIS DAY, TREE DID SAY THINGS TO THE EFFECT OF LOVING EVERYBODY BIG SOGGY LUMPS, AND WE ALL REJOICED. THEN I KICKED A GOOSE.